…Less Parental Guidance Than One Deserves

Thugs. We see them as menaces to society. We see them and turn the other way. We see them…and turn the other way. What we don’t see are victims. Victims of no parental guidance…

The definition of a parent today is questionable. Remember when parents were parents? I don’t. I grew up with my grandma but I’ve heard stories of what parents used to (and should) be and my grandmother was that parent. To her children and grandchildren.

I’ve never fallen under the influence of running the street under the guidance of my grandmother; I was blessed to have a grandmother such as she. But many weren’t as fortunate as me…so they turned to the streets for guidance.

How much can we blame the thugs and gang members when their parents/guardians failed them at home? Yes, they should be punished as they’re old enough to know what they’re doing…but considering how they may have grown up, do they know that they’re wrong?

Now I’m not defending what they do and I do know that some of them do know that what they’re doing is wrong…but when I look in the newspaper and read about 15-17 year-old “gunmen”, I can’t help but think they’re more victim than suspects. They were failed by they’re parents and it only costs them their freedom.

And for the less fortunate…

…Their lives.

Let’s be parents, parents!


…it starts at home and end in the streets…

What do you guys think? Did I give thugs TOO much leeway in this post?

    • chariel
    • April 11th, 2010

    I think you hit the nail on the head. I’ve grown up around “thugs” all my life and the common denominator is failed parenting. Even my little brother has become a victim due to failed parenting (parents letting him go and come as he pleases since 9th grade). they’re going around playing with water guns but getting wet in the wrong way. the ones fortunate to survive and move on realize how dumb they were when they were thuggin. especially those with kids. and then again some don’t grow up

    • boogiejen
    • April 13th, 2010

    I agree. My husband and I thank God that we have a healthy marriage. 10 years and it feels like the honeymoon stages, even with two small boys with autism. A woman can only give her boys but so much knowledge, but, Dad can teach him to be a man. A gentleman with values and morals and examples. The benefits of two parent households may be dwindling, but they do provide us with the best benefits.
    I see the teens around here and even younger children hanging on the stoops smoking weed I am talking 8 9 10 and up. Talking about things I am sure they have no indepth ideas of. I see no curfew, no dinnertimes, no family time since they are on the block 24/7. Some sell drugs, some do other things and yet one thing that never materializes is a mother or father to lead the way. It is sad and unfortunate. Maybe someone can someday take a small community and help families how to deal with these issues. Education is always the key. This is the direction we should be shoving down our kids throats, ears, nose Eyes. This will get them out and hopefully end the vicious cycle.
    Follow me on twitter AutismIsReal

    • April 19th, 2010

    You are 100 % correct on this post. This is an unfortunate side effect of MEN not holding post in their households plain and simple. Men’s roles were supposed to be the ultimate protector and provider but when that element is missing you have a great deal of imbalance…Ladies, I know you may not like to hear this but we were not created to do this alone……THIS is the END RESULT….. Economic hardship and lack, dangerous neighborhoods, young men looking for guidance, young ladies looking for love, too many children dying, too many mothers crying…….

    • Shik
    • May 25th, 2010

    I have 2 kids and I am 23 years old. I make sure I am there in my kids life everyday. But I agree with u golden$tar. These men, not even just black men want to have kids and when it comes to being a dad they cant’t handle it so they leave. I hate to see a mother lose her child but it pisses me off when u enable your child to be the way he is and when he gets killed, ur all on the news lying talking about he was “such a good person” Seriously most parents now days are 2 young, on drugs or just incompetant.Kudos to those who take care of theirs, because I do.

    • Envymenow
    • June 5th, 2010

    Your point is well taken but you are ignoring free will. Every person has their own personality. Even within the same household, each child is different. As a result, many of the things that young people do are with their volition. Parents are at fault for some of the things that their children do but they cannot bear the brunt of the criticism. Some of these young people have parents or a single parent working hard to take care of them. It is very difficult for a parent to be with their child 24/7. This is especially true if the parent is single and taking care of the child alone. Children and teenagers need more positive outlets. I blame parents for not getting children involved in programs that will limit their ability to interact with gangs and other negative influences. I also blame the state legislatures for cutting afterschool programs. Many of those programs helped keep children involved in positive activities. The scarcity of these programs leaves parents little to no options. I am by no means condoning the behavior of those parents who are not PARENTING their children. I am giving parents credit for their effort. It’s a vicious cycle and somehow, it needs to be stopped so that the children in our society will become productive adults.

    • DG
    • April 10th, 2011

    haojiu bujian

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